PURRNewswire – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
San Francisco, CA — June 30, 2015
Kittens 2.0, the latest entry in a long line of cat-run Internet ventures, has officially launched, with first product offering SnapCat currently in beta.
Kittens 2.0 aims to disrupt the existing cat-driven internet by bringing more ridiculously cute kitten-focused content to the masses, while simultaneously enabling younger cats to connect with the world that frankly adores them.
Says their spokes-human and lead investor, Sarah Kling: “We’re really excited to have the kittens enter this market. The Kittens 2.0 team found through research that the current cat-loving market is underserved by today’s technology solutions because younger cats find the current solutions to be daunting.”
“Younger cats are simply not using such social media tools as Twitter, where the bird logo is too distracting, and Facebook, where too many pictures of homely dogs and sticky toddlers dominate horribly-organized news streams.
“And as for YouTube and Google+: The Kittens’ deep market research re-affirmed other human’s findings that the UX is too complicated for younger cats to navigate the steps it takes to create a channel and post content.”
“They’d rather be stalking their own tails or learning to scratch on the forbidden new furniture in mommy’s living room than to sign up for a Google+ account.”
She added while attempting to lure our the founders with a fleece-on-a-stick toy:
“Younger cats simply lack the focus it takes to wade through traditional social media channels.”
When finally reached for comment under the living room sofa, Kittens 2.0 founder and CEO Harley states, “Our focus is to really expand the reach of the younger cat audience by exploring new channels through our mobile and web offerings. We’ve found that the Internet is saturated by images and videos of entertaining older cats, doing things that older cats can do, which we as kittens find….[big yawn and stretch]…
“Do you have any tuna-flavored treats? I love tuna-flavored treats!”
Says co-founder and VP of Marketing, Ringo, who was reached for comment while crouching under a bathmat: “Frankly, everyone knows that the kitten population is underserved by today’s mobile and social media offerings. But what’s weird is that, as kittens, we alone possess the absolute maximum amount of that critical “aww, so cute!” adorableness factor.
“We believe we can leverage our cuteness to disrupt the existing cat-driven internet.”
Chimed in CEO Harley, while pouncing on the bathmat: “It’s kind of shocking, really: There are NO kitten-specific apps currently in either the App Store or the Google Play Store, and frankly, we think this is a missed opportunity. We know from our research in the incubator that kittens are very capable of using touch-screen devices. Think about it…all that tapping. It just comes naturally to us.”
Kittens 2.0’s first product offering, SnapCat, is currently in limited beta testing in the living room, and is expected to be available for general release later this summer.
So far, the Kittens 2.0 team is keeping the details of that product secret, but they do expect the features to be very “kitten-user-friendly, with lots of quick tapping and pouncing interactions supported.”
Kittens 2.0 is currently in an explosive growth phase, with expansion plans including the hiring of more humans to “handle the more mundane tasks such as procuring snacks and tuna, and doing things around the office that require opposable thumbs.”
Originally created in a field near Petaluma, California, Kittens 2.0 was then incubated for several weeks in a Petaluma “tech shelter” before moving last week to their new offices in the Dogpatch area of San Francisco.
To learn more about Kittens 2.0 or to book an interview with them while they’re crouching under an ottoman, contact spokes-human Sarah Kling at firstname.lastname@example.org.