#SiliconValleyProblems #Kids Edition

1. Amazon Prime takes too long. I want my Rainbow Loom now! #googleexpress
2. No wi-fi in the car = no Sofia the First. #what’saradio?
3. I get carsick playing Soul Surfer on my ipod while going over the Hill to the beach. #highway17woes
4. Cursive is the HomeEc of the 21st century. #Swyperules
5. If Santa’s Workshop is real, why isn’t it on Yelp? #negativereviewsgetcoal
6. MineCraft is collaborative interaction and therefore is more important than homework. #NotchIsGod
7. The Instacart driver took his sweet time and now my popsicles are all melted! #notip
8. I can’t find the show I want on Neflix OR Apple TV! Are we sure it exists? #DemandOnDemand
9. I keep tripping on the cord charging the Volt while playing basketball on the driveway. #electricfoul
10. Instabullies is not what my parents think it is. #ilovemydog
11. The new iPhone 6 Plus is too big for my wheely backpack. #stillgettingit
12. I can’t tweet the @sfgiants game because my service doesn’t work @attpark. #itsfreakingattyo
13. The FAA won’t let me fly my drone. #toohighnofly
14. Vacuum, what’s a vacuum? Roomba! #onelesschore
15. I’m never getting my driver’s license. Ever. Thanks a lot Google self-driving car. #stupidrobots
16. I forgot to clear my web history on the family computer. #whoops
17. My parents won’t let me take an Uber to school. #oldfashioned
18. My LinkedIn profile page doesn’t have a section for my grade school Accelerated Reader scores. #NoStanfordForMe
19. Dine Dash no longer delivers from my favorite burger joint. #Wherearemysweetpotatofries?
20. I got grounded for spending $324 on in-app purchases. #trickydevelopers
21. My UrbanSitter nanny only has 4 five-star reviews. #rookie
22. Mom tagged me in hundreds of pictures. My girlfriend just commented on a picture of me sitting on the potty when I was 3. #NoParentsOnFacebook
23. What is Microsoft, and why did it buy Minecraft? #theregoesmyfaction #majorgriefer
24. Mom just instituted a “no screens” hour from 6-7pm. What the hell am I supposed to do now? #whatisatoy?
25. The ice cream truck just tweeted out its location—too far for my razor electric scooter to go. #morebatterylifefordrumstick​